Questions...
Ok, so let me start by saying that I've tried several times today to comment on blogs, and blogger won't let me. So, it's not that I don't have anything to say to you Sistas, I'm just being gagged at the moment! I will try again soon!
For now, I have a few moments to myself to post on my own blog. Well, that's if Maura will actually calm herself to sleep. She does for me all the time, but dh has just given her a bottle (which she hates), and she's wound up.
That brings me to my vent.
I need help with dh. I'm getting frustrated. He is getting into the habit of passing Maura to me when she's fussy. And I take her because I can't handle hearing her cry. But he's going to need to be able to calm her. And I'm going to need that break every now and then. He can do it. He's just not confident yet. He gives up too easily.
I don't know. Maybe he doesn't want to be that kind of a dad. But I need him to step up sometimes. I need the break to use the bathroom, have a snack, or just be. I know that he's stressed with work, and I understand that it's hard to relax with a crying baby. But I need him to help, especially when she's fussy!
Don't get me wrong, he tries. He just doesn't know what to do. And he takes good care of me, fixing my meals when he's home, bringing me OJ and Pop-Tarts in bed, and such. He's a great husband and daddy. He's just new, and afraid of the job description. But any moms out there now that you don't ease into this job. You have to jump in with both feet! There's no orientation period!
And I know that some of this is my fault. I need to say no when he tries to pass her to me. It's just so hard.
Any advice out there??
Oh, and she really does hate the bottle. I don't want to breastfeed until she can take a cup! Should we offer her a bottle more often? More than a couple of times a week? She'll eventually get used to it, right?
posted by Christine at 3/29/2005 09:41:00 PM
6 Comments:
Hmmmm, I can't really help you since I haven't gotten there yet, but I can thank you for the advice! I need to make sure I don't let John do the same thing - I can totally see him trying to hand her off as well when she gets fussy.
Wishing you luck and thinking of you!
Ugh!
I'm sorry to tell you this but I bet EVERY mother has the same complaint. I do! Not that Dave doesn't TRY, because he does...its just that mothers have a harder time of listening to their babies cry, so they do something about it.
DAVE could let miles cry and it wouldn't bother him so I take over.
Its tough! And I hope you can find something that you're both happy with!
I miss your regular posts! :)
Christine,
I highly recommend you read Tertia's posts about Marko. It will make you feel better, especially when you think she's dealing with twins (I cannot imagine having two of them crying...)
I miss you so much, but totally understand why you're not posting. LOVE the pictures of you guys. She's beautiful.
You just need to leave. Go for a walk, a drive, a haircut, a trip to the grocery store, whatever. Remove yourself as an option.
tracy (tracybob_one at yahoo dot com)
I was going to say the same thing as Kether - you need to read Tertia's posts on this subject.
I'm sure that DH will come around. Maybe it just takes longer for the Dad to feel as comfy with handling baby than is does for Mom. I have a good feeling that you two will sort this out in no time.
Jackie
I don't have any advice to offer, but I have a feeling many moms have this complaint (I'll probably be joining in myself when my time comes!). I don't think men see things the same way we do, or probably don't feel very sure of themselves around such a fragile life.
As for the bottle, keep with it! I read that you should do that at least a few times a week in the beginning, but that *you* shouldn't give it to her. Have your DH or someone else do it, and I read that sometimes wrapping something that smells like you around the bottle will help. If there isn't anyone else around to feed her the bottle, then you should face her outwards. She's supposed to associate you with the boob and everyone else with the bottle. (I know, I know, I sound like one of those annoying know-it-alls, especially since I don't have any experience in this... but I thought maybe what I read would be helpful!)
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