15 more to go...

I'm 25 weeks along today! Wow!

I think that Charm has learned how to do somersaults! The other night, I was laying in bed, and I felt a huge amount a movement in there, but it wasn't the usual kicks, jabs, or rolls. So I uncovered my belly and watched it move. It ended with this large bulge on one side. Weird. Anyway, when I touched the bulging part, it was hard and shaped like a head. Of course, by the time dh came to bed, it was all over. Until last night. We had a repeat performance!! And dh was there to see it all!! I got tears in my eyes! So Charm has officially become an acrobat. What a talented little one we have here!!

My in-laws left this morning. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet. I'm so used to spending time in quiet, that the hustle and bustle of the Italian family gets exhausting after a few days. Thanksgiving went relatively well. MIL & FIL didn't like all of my traditional Thanksgiving food, but that's fine. Dh mentioned that it just doesn't fit with the "Mediterranean palate." I reminded him that Thanksiving is not a Mediterranean holiday, so he and his family will just have to get used to seeing this food every Thanksgiving that we have together. They don't have to eat it, but they will see it. I'm a stubborn Irish woman, and I will have my comfort food!! The up side is that I get to finish all of the stuffing, gravy and pumpkin pie on my own!! I don't have to share with ANYONE! Woohoo!

Things are still quiet and sad here at home. Dh walks around with a dark cloud over his head. Everything he's experiencing is tainted. He no longer experiences pure joy. I did see him smile yesterday, so that's a start. He's really scared about all of this. There is a 2% chance that he'll convert to having HCV. I'd like to think that the chance is even less considering how small the exposure was. But I understand that dh can't get his hopes up. We need to be realistic. Unfortunately, I think realistic is even a stretch for dh right now.

I thank God that he's talking about it. It's only a little at a time, but he's talking. From from our talking, I am seeing that he's feeling right now similar feeling to what I experienced with my miscarriages. He described going through the motions of everyday life, feeling like this is almost an out-of-body experience, like this couldn't really be happening to him. He talks about the future with words like "hopefully" and "if." He's most sad and scared about not being able to experience pure joy over the birth of our baby. And of course, he's worried about more practical things like being able to provide for us.

I was surprised that he's experiencing many of the same emotions that I've experienced in the last year.

I'm trying my best to stay strong and keep things as normal as possible. I'm also trying to handle more of the arrangements for moving, and the new construction, etc. He doesn't need the stress. I am fine most of the time, after all, we don't even know if he's converted or not yet. But it's just really hard to see him like this. I hate that he is hurting so. I would much rather be the one that is hurting. I wish that I could take this from him.

Thank you all for your prayers. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Keep them coming, if you will.

(((((Hugs))))) & SSCKs

Edited: The HIV results on said patient did come back negative this week. Dh will have his blood drawn at 6 weeks, 6 months, and 1 year to see if he has converted. There are many false negatives, as well as false positives with HCV, so we won't get the big picture until closer to the 6 month mark. Thanks for the reminders, Crista and Kether!! I meant to include these, but preggo brain strikes again!