It must be the hormones...

The dreams are back. The past two nights, I've dreamt of bleeding. The one two nights ago was so real that I could feel myself bleeding. I try to brush these things off. I know that they are just my fears manifesting themselves in my dreams. I know that they are not real and mean nothing. But it still changes how you attack your day. I now find myself analyzing every twitch and pull, just like I was during the first tri. I'm finding it hard to relax and simply enjoy this pregnancy the past couple of days.

Yesterday and the day before, I was having all kind of odd feelings in my uterus. The stretching and pulling I've gotten used to. But I had some mild cramping that I haven't felt since the first trimester. It's not even bad enough to call it cramping, more like an ache, but it has the that menstrual cramp feel. And it worries me. I looked through my books, and the sensations of a stretching ute are never really described. Some of my online sistas have calmed my fears, which has helped. I would still like to hear stories from those of you who are further along, or BTDT.

Charm is reassuring me in everyway that he/she can. I'm constantly feeling movements and kicks. Charm even woke me up a couple of times last night. Maybe he/she wanted to end the dreams. It worked. I finally went back to sleep and dreamed about Trading Spaces. It' was a weird dream, but a definite improvement!! (Ty is such a hottie!!)

I'm also emotional in general. I'm crying at the drop of a hat again. I've had a few weeks off of the emotional rollercoaster. I thought that was over. But I've already had a good cry this morning while sitting here at the computer.

So maybe this is all just hormones. Or maybe it's my dysfunctional way of dealing with "too much of a good thing." Whenever I am really enjoying my life, I doubt that it will last. In life, I've always had one eye open for the last shoe to drop. I'm always waiting for something to go terribly wrong. So I've been happy and enjoying my pregnancy lately. I've gotten a lot of work done on the baby blanket that I'm crocheting. I just had a wonderful ultrasound. Maybe my brain is just reverting to it's old defenses here, reminding me that it can all end in a second. I hate these reminders.