To know or not to know...That is the question...
The subject of finding out the gender of this baby has come up recently in conversation, and it has surprised my sistas that we are NOT going to find out.
I don't understand the surprise here! I mean, just because I have NO willpower and pee on sticks for a sport?? Or is it because I encourage others to do the same?? Or maybe because I spend my weekends with cold ultrasound goo smeared all over my abdomen. Oh, ok, I guess when you look at it that way!
I have always been a traditionalist at heart. I've always dreamed of that moment when the doctor says, "It's a..." as he pulls a gloppy squirmy thing out of me (It just slides out, right??). I also dreamed of being proposed to, and since that didn't really happen, I'm going to get one thing my way!! I go into that story at a later time. I think that the finding out the gender of the baby is the ultimate surprise. It it 9 months of anticipation and wonder. It seems to be one of the only magical things left in this journey. And I want magic.
And I want this for dh. See, as a resident, he spent time on an OB rotation. He's delivered babies. He's seen it all. I want there to be something that he hasn't seen yet. Something magical for him, too.
Dh wanted to find out. We made this deal long ago with our first pregnancy. We won't find out with the first, but we will with any following children. I can compromise (sometimes). I'm not a complete control freak (just a little one).
So we aren't going to find out when we have the big ultrasound at the end of October. And we won't find out at any of the ultrasounds that we do on the side before then. Hopefully.
The challenge is that dh is a radiologist. He knows what he's seeing on those black and white screens. So even though he has promised that he won't look in "that area," if Charm is an exhibitionist, we may be in trouble. And if that happens, it's ok. But we are going to try not to find out...
posted by Christine at 9/28/2004 07:39:00 PM
13 Comments:
I can completely understand both sides of the want to know/don't want to know debate. I think its great that you aren't going to find out! Then I can know about mine, but be suprised with yours!
I must admit, I AM surprised, but it's all good! I completely understand you're wanting that surprise, though I could never have that much patience! :) So what if Paul finds out "by accident" -- does he have keep it to himself, or tell you??
Oh, and you should definitely tell your engagement story on here sometime...it's a good one! :)
I can see why you want to wait. My problem has always been that patience has never been on of my virtues. Someone asked me the other day if I was going to find out the sex at the big ultrasound. Charles laughed and said "She would find out TODAY if she could." Since you don't want to find out .. I hope that the baby doesn't surprise you guys and let it be known. Oh and send me all the exhibitionist vibes!!! Chip was asleep at my 19 week ultrasound with him and would not show anything, so I was 7 months pregnant when we finally found out he was going to be a boy.
Oh yes .. spill your engagement story. Enquiring minds want to know.
I fully support your decision! I plan on doing the same. None of my friends have done it so far either. I don't think there's a right or wrong thing to do here, just what's right for you and your DH. You better just make sure to get to a computer really soon after delivery so the rest of us can know!
Jackie
I totally understand your decision to wait for the surprise. I feel the same way. MOST of my family, cousins, etc. wait and it makes it so much more exciting for everyone involved. We are definitely going to be surprised as well. It is a long wait, but it will be so worth it in the end.
P.S. I would like to hear that engagement story...
Lynn (Lyn)
Definitely do what YOU want to do. Don't let us influence you. I was just surprised for the reasons you stated - POAS all the time, multiple secret u/s's, etc. :) And I guess I just figured that you would end up finding out whether you wanted to or not if you keep getting an u/s every week or two - LOL - I'm just jealous :)
Anyway, your decision - and I actually don't think there is a decision. You should do it exactly the way you planned. You and Paul deserve that great surprise! As long as you don't mind lots of yellow and green baby things!
I give you a lot of credit for having that kind of willpower. I love the idea of it being a surprise right up until the end, but I'm too much of a planner to not know (then again, you never really know for sure until s/he is born anyway...mistakes are made). Just as long as s/he's healthy, it doesn't really matter in the end because it's not like you can change it! :)
That is so cool that yu are waiting for the element of surprise. Hope little charm cooperates & doesn't "expose" him/herself before delivery day!
Good for you! I have to say that I definitely DO want to know but my dh goes back and forth. But, kudos to you for going against what so many do today. So much willpower!! And yes... I do want to hear the engagement story and whether or not your dh has to tell you if Charm is and exhibitionist! LOL
We're not planning to find out either. So much of our trying to conceive involved dates, doctors, planning, thermometers, etc etc etc that we've agreed to let the gender be a surprise. Although I have a strong hunch we're having a boy.
Mandy
(www.infertilityisfunny.blog-city.com)
First of all, how the HECK are you almost 17 weeks already!
Yowzers!!
We did NOT find out with logan, and Christine, it was amazing in the delivery room! The nurses were taking guesses (all guess a girl, weighing about 7lbs, and then I deliver this almost 9 lb boy! haha)
The excitement of not knowing and wanting to know SO badly!
I think you will never regret your decision!!
I'm so lucky I get to experience it both ways in my life, and honestly, I love this way so much too!
Either way, its a win win situation!
Hopefully your husband doesn't see any 'parts' during his u/s's!!
Christine, I love surprises...so I can relate to not wanting to know with the first one. Good Luck with charm keeping it a secret!! Time is flying & I can't believe your big u/s is almost here! Take care, Cara A
I loved your post. and the "exhibitionist" hehe, anyways, I think it is great that you want to wait to find out. We found out with Samantha, BUT they were wrong!! so it was a complete surprise, and trust me, We were surprised, and it was so amazing when the baby is born to find out waht it was.
BUT a lot of doctors wont tell you what it is, lol. they just plop the baby on your chest and let you find out what your baby is, which perosnnaly I think is awsome.
smiling at such a wonderful thing, the birth of your child!
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