It's about faith...

Something hit me last night as I was watching TV. Something that now seems very simple and obvious. It's all about faith--this journey that I'm on.

I know about faith in God, and most of the time, I have that. There are times when certainly, I falter. But overall, I trust that God has a plan for me. I trust that things will work out in the end.

I am missing faith everywhere else in my life, though.

I need to have faith in my doctors. I know that they are limited in what they can do, but I need to have faith that they will do all that they can so that I can have a successful pregnancy.

I need to have faith in my husband--that he has my best interest in mind. That he is thinking as a husband first and a doctor second.

I need to have faith in myself and my body. This is a hard one. I need to trust that I'm doing all that I can to have a healthy pregnancy. I need to trust that my body will do what it is supposed to--preserve a healthy pregnancy, and miscarry an unhealthy one. I need to believe that my body can do this, even if it has proven otherwise so far. I need to have faith that my body will be able to carry a successful pregnancy.

So, I'm going to eat healthy, and see the RE. After he exhausts his options in testing and I get as healthy as I can, I need to have faith. I need to do everything that I can, and once it's up to God and I no longer have control, I need to try to have faith.

I know that I will probably never be able to completely relax and enjoy a pregnancy. I know that there will always be fear in the back of my mind. But last time, I know, I didn't have faith.

I need to have faith.