I got my bracelet!
It came today, and I'm so glad that I bought it. It's nothing spectacular, but it's just right. It's delicate, so most people won't even notice it. But it means a lot to me. The Forget-Me-Not charm reminds me of my angels, and the pearl reminds me of hope--that something beautiful can come from a difficult process. I'm hoping and praying for a pearl in my life...
_______________________________
I went back to work today. I make my own schedule, which gives me a lot of freedom. So I don't work on a regular scheduled basis.
Anyway, I went back to work. I work in a long term care facility, where the average age of my patients is probably in the eighties. I love working with this age group. They are such wonderful, interesting people.
But it never fails, someone always asks me why we haven't had a baby yet. One of the little ladies asked me today, and I wasn't prepared for it. I just didn't have my game on yet after getting back from vacation. I answered her honestly, because I knew that she could handle it, and I hate to pretend that my miscarriages didn't happen. I could tell that she felt bad about asking. I didn't intend for her to feel bad. But what do you do? How do you answer that question? I don't want to deny what happened, I don't want to lie, but I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable. Well, that's not true, I don't mind making some people feel uncomfortable, because they just need to learn about this stuff. But she is just a sweet old lady meaning no harm. I hate that she felt uncomfortable.
Occasionally, I can get around the question with a vague answer. Before my trip to Italy, I told people that we wanted to travel overseas first, as I'd never been. They aren't exactly lies, but they aren't the full truth. There must be a gentle way of explaining what's going on, or at least hinting to it.
Any ideas out there in cyber-world? What do you do?
posted by Christine at 5/13/2004 04:19:00 PM
1 Comments:
Apparantly I have a lot to say today.
I used to work in a long term care facility (two actually) and I did home care, too. It has been one of my favorite jobs ever. I LOVED it.
Anyway, I find that people generally take their cues from me on how to react about my miscarriage (and I tend to add those pithy truths on my own so that they don't come from someone else's lists...you know, "God has a plan, I just wish I knew what it was" and "There was something wrong and that is nature's way").I have found its just easier to hear that from myself than someone else. For the most part I deal with it ok...I mean I actually BELIEVE those pithy truths...but still sometimes it is hard and I have a bad day and then people are shocked because they thought I was dealing with it so well.
In truth, I think there is no "right" way. Or any "easy" way either. But, I find that as they say "the truth shall set you free" its easier for people to just know so that you don't carry some secret sorrow around with you. You can tell as much or as little about the truth as you like...mine tends to vary by how sympathetic the ear or good the friend.
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