Back to the book....

I picked up my book again today--the one that I bought for Mom. I haven't read any of it in a while. I haven't felt the need to. But with Mom's mere suggestion that I'm overreacting, I question myself, and feel guilty for my grief. So I found this passage that I want to quote here. Just in case there are others of you out there who feel the same way:

"If we are suffering as if a loss was terrible, then the loss was terrible for us. If we feel loss, there is loss, and it is significant enough to deserve attention and care.

We deserve the freedom, the time, and a voice for expelling what hurts inside. We can express feelings at a time, in a place, perhaps with another person, and in a way that feels right to us. We might arrange time with a trusted friend or mate or seek out another mother who has miscarried. It is helpful to grant ourselves permission to say 'dumb, crazy, or awful' things, to be 'irrational,' or get hysterical. After all, quite commonly, feelings don't seem a bit rational, and we have a right to get hysterical.

In the face of our suffering, we need to commit to no longer abandoning our feelings and ourselves, to return to and stand by ourselves with compassion, and to express whatever we feel. We need to respect and honor our grief and who we are." (Miscarriage: Women Sharing From the Heart, by Marie Allen, PhD & Sheely Marks, MS)

BTW, I highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling after a miscarriage.