Back from the RE...

Here's the post that I published on all of the message boards that I'm on. So, if you already read me on a board, this is a duplicate, if not, here's the update:

Well, I'm back! It was a good appointment. This doc seems very knowledgeable and up on the latest studies. He had obviously spent a lot of time going over my chart before we talked because he was familiar with the pathology report from my D&C and so forth.

So I had a pelvic, and an ultrasound. He said that my uterus and ovaries look normal from that. He led me through the entire ultrasound so that I could see what he was seeing, too, which was nice. He pointed out my uterine lining, which is thin since I'm only cd7, and my ovaries with a corpus luteum still on my right side. It apparently takes a while for those to be absorbed.

So,he doesn't think that we need to test for hormone problems or physical abnormalities since I seem to get pregnant easily and stay pregnant. Since my problem seems to be the development of the fetal tissue, we had some blood drawn for kareotyping, and he is going to have his pathologists look at the slides from the D&C tissue. Apparently the path report says that there were "hydropic changes" to the placenta. I'm still a little confused as to what that means, but it has something to do with chromosomal abnormalities.

So those results should all be back in four weeks.

Meanwhile, he said that we can start TTC again whenever we are ready. He said that his guess is that my m/c's happened for chromosomal reasons, and that there is a small chance that I may not be able to have a healthy pregnancy because of these chromosomal issues. But he thinks that it's unlikely. He said that we can try again right away if we want to!

I think that I want to wait one more cycle, though. I would really like to have those results first, and I think that I could use the time to get myself geared up to TTC. I am really surprised that he said that we go for it right away.

So, overall, it's good news, but still no definitely answers. I can't tell you how glad I am that someone who is trained to be proactive and problem solve in this manner has looked at my chart.

I'm sort of numb about it all right now. I guess that it will eventually sink in...I do feel like I can finally breathe for the first time today. *sigh*
___________________________

Ok, that being said, I need to write about how I'm feeling. I don't have much time so I will elaborate more tomorrow.

I am overwhelmed! There are so many emotions racing through me, that I'm only getting glimpses of many.

I feel relieved that this doctor not only took the time to look at my case, but also doesn't think that there is anything seriously wrong with me.

I am shocked that he said that we can start trying again whenever we want.

I am excited that he said that we can start whenever we want.

I am scared that we can start whenever we want!

I feel like a weight was lifted today. I can breathe. But I am also so scared. Now I really HAVE to face my fears of another miscarriage. I can't put it off any longer.

So I'm going to take the next month to gear myself up for TTC and the possibility of being pregnant again. And we will hopefully hear more results in that timeframe, too. I'm going to really start working on finding faith, patience, and peace. I'm going to start yoga (I keep saying that I'm going to start it, but now I mean it! It's something that I can do throughout a pregnancy to help me find peace), and I'm going to go back to church. Those are two concrete ways that I can find peace and faith.

Ok, I know that I'm babbling, but I needed that!

*sigh*